Connected Read online

  Connected

  Written by Kim Karr

  Assisted by Jennie Wurtz

  Text copyright © 2013 by Kim Karr

  Cover design by Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations

  Ebook formatting by JT Formatting

  Visit my blog - http://www.authorkimkarr.com

  Like me on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/authorkimkarr

  Follow me on Twitter - https://twitter.com/authorkimkarr

  ISBN:

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be re-sold or given away to other people, but of course you may loan it to a friend. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

  This story may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support is respected and appreciated.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Smashwords Edition License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

  “She Will be Loved” by Maroon 5 copyright © 2004 by Hal Leonard Corporation. Lyrics reprinted by permission.

  Permission for use of fictional character, Jake Wethers, was obtained by Samantha Towle.

  Permission for use of fictional character, Kellan Kyle, was obtained by S.C. Stephens.

  Table of Contents

  Authors Note

  Connected Playlist

  Preface

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Epilogue

  Authors Note Two

  Authors Note Three

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  I want my readers to understand that music means a great deal to me. In this book, I have used many songs to convey character feelings and emotions in each and every chapter. So much so, that each chapter title is a song. I spent many hours searching for songs that signify the narrative of each chapter and I hope that listening to the songs before you read each chapter will only help to enhance your reading experience. Go to my website www.authorkimkarr.com for song links to Spotify. And unfortunately, without permission from the artists I cannot include the actual lyrics in the narrative. What you see is a revised version to better fit the feelings and emotions of the chapter, not the actual lyrics. The exception to this is the use of a Maroon 5 song lyric for which I was granted permission to use.

  Gnarls Barkley—Crazy, Prince—Purple Rain, Nirvana—Rape Me, U2—Beautiful Day

  Theory of a Deadman—Out of My Head, Michael Jackson—Thriller

  Erykah Badu —Next Lifetime, Stevie Wonder—Superstition

  3 Doors Down—It’s Not My Time, Gavin DeGraw—I’m In Love With A Girl

  Breaking Benjamin—The Diary of Jane

  Gary Allen—Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain

  Taylor Swift—Begin Again, The Kinks—Lola

  Thriving Ivory—Where We Belong

  Secondhand Serenade—Something More, Tom Petty—Free Fallin, U2—Beautiful Day

  Tenth Avenue North—Hold My Heart

  Mazzy Star—Fade Into You

  Nine Inch Nails —Closer, Robin Thicke—Sex Therapy

  John Mayer —Say, Fuel—I Should Have Told You, Coldplay—Yellow

  Teddy Geiger—Living For The First Time, Portishead—Glory Box,

  Every Avenue—Tell Me I’m A Wreck, Maroon 5—She Will Be Loved,

  AC/DC— Back In Black, Coldplay Avenue—Green Eyes

  Adelitas Way—Alive, Rihanna—S&M, Enrique Iglesias—Dirty Dancer,

  Havana Brown—You’ll Be Mine, Enrique Iglesias—Tonight I’m F**king You,

  Saving Abel—Addicted

  Hedley—Kiss You Inside Out, U2—Beautiful Day,

  Cheap Trick—I Want You To Want Me

  The Veronicas—Speechless, Phil Collins—In The Air Tonight,

  Poison—Talk Dirty To Me, Adelitas Way—Dirty Little Thing

  Phillip Phillips—Home

  The Who—Pinball Wizard

  Justin Timberlake—Sexy Back

  Dashboard Confessional—The Secret’s In The Telling

  One Direction—Little Things

  Lifehouse (featuring Natasha Bedingfield)—Between The Raindrops

  Within Temptation—Memories, Smashing Pumpkins—Perfect

  Yellowcard—Miles Apart

  Ivan & Alyosha—I Was Born To Love Her

  Rihanna—Diamonds

  Avenged Sevenfold—Victim, Citizens—Amazing Grace

  Sara Paxton—Connected

  The Script—Breakeven, Go Radio—Go To Hell

  I have visited this place many times, but today it’s different. I’m alone. There are no comforting arms around me. My body trembles. Not from the cold, but from the realization of fate. A single tear slowly drips down my face as I look into the night and scream, “Why couldn’t we just stay together?!”

  As the wind moans in the distance, thunder crashes and lightning strikes. I stand here just hoping the impeding storm will carry me away and erase the shadow that looms over me. A slow soothing rain falls from the blackened sky, but it provides no relief to my ravaged soul. A mist slowly rises into the night, puddles form in various spots, and the cold air sends shivers down my spine. The dark, the storm—they are both upon me.

  I’m a lone figure and I huddle to the ground feeling completely lost. As my tears merge with the rain into one slow dance, they only fall further into the darkness. No one is here to see me. No one knows where to find me. Only the vultures notice me as they fly swiftly overhead, seeking shelter against the cold rain. I’m not looking for refuge in this place I now despise, but I have nowhere else to go. I have no hope. I have no future. This is where I belong—in the darkness.

  CRAZY

  Every time we were there we had fun

  There was something special about the place

  Sights and sounds echoed throughout the space

  And when we’re there we never had a care

  We were having the time of our lives.

  August 1999…

  Every sight and every sound told me this was the best place on earth. The arena was a buzz of activity: music roared through the speakers, electricity filled the air, and nameless people were rushing to find their seats. My father and I stopped quickly to purchase our concert t-shirts. Clutching our tickets tightly, we made our way thr
ough the crowd.

  The excitement around us was immeasurable, almost indescribable. We sat down, mesmerized by what was before us. Looking at the stage, it was impossible to take everything in. Being so close was intoxicating. I was frozen with shock, and my eyes flickered through the rays of the spotlights as they made their way up the stairs.

  Bono encouraged thousands of waving hands and nodding heads. Eventually, I gathered my senses and began to absorb my surroundings just as U2 began to play Beautiful Day. Slipping into an almost hypnotic state, I closed my eyes and swayed to the pulse of the beat as the vibrations penetrated my whole body. I stayed this way throughout most of the concert, just as I had so many times before.

  Going to Greek Theatre, or The Greek as otherwise known, was an experience like no other. It was the largest indoor arena, and people of all kinds walked around to experience the ambiance. Famous people, unknown bands, known singers, groupies, and concertgoers came from miles around. They all loved it there, and so did I. I used to notice how all of the visitors’ shirts meshed together like a finely woven blanket with different colors of yarn. Everyone came from different places, but they all were there for the same reason: to listen to the best music ever played.

  My father was the general manager of The Greek. He loved music, mostly rock, eighties, and nineties. My dad had been going to concerts since he was thirteen and always bought a t-shirt. So to say he had a few concert t-shirts was putting it mildly. He started working at The Greek at a young age and never left simply because he loved his job. He accumulated so many stories and told me of numerous freak events. Having witnessed them first hand, he always knew the inside scoop and would share it with me. I was even lucky enough to have one of the Wear Purple ticket stubs from Prince’s sold-out Purple Rain concert in my possession.

  There is one concert that will forever hold a place in my heart. It was the Nirvana benefit concert performed to raise money for Bosnian rape victims. They opened with the very emotional song Rape Me, and while the cause moved me, it was the emotion in the song that made me fall even more in love with music than I already was. After I left the concert that night, The Greek was not only my father’s favorite place to be, but mine too.

  My mom was not into music like my dad was; she preferred clothes to concerts. She taught me to sew, and together we made a quilt with the concert t-shirts I outgrew. Between my father and I, we collected over two hundred pieces of chronicled music history.

  Trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up was always puzzling. I was torn between my father’s love for music, my mother’s love for fashion, and my love for capturing images of all things beautiful. I thought maybe I’d have a music career or go to the New York School of Fashion and Design like my mother had. Whichever career path I chose needed to lead me toward being able to take pictures. Maybe someday I’d create my own dream job that blended all three!

  OUT OF MY HEAD

  You’re always in my head

  Maybe it’s the way you smile at me

  Maybe it’s the way you laugh with me

  Maybe it’s that we’ve known each other so long

  Thoughts of you are always in my head.

  October 2006…

  Walking through the greek-lettered doors of Kappa Sigma, I felt like I’d just stepped onto a movie set. It was Halloween, everyone was wearing costumes, holding red Solo cups, and dancing . . . well, not everyone. I looked twice to be certain, but sure as shit, there was a large, dark-blue ice luge in the center of the living room. The guy at the bottom of the channel was my boyfriend, Ben, and the person in line behind him was my best friend, Aerie.

  I didn’t go to a lot of fraternity parties, and looking at the two of them under the almost kid-sized slide, I now knew why.

  Frowning at the sight of the two drunken idiots who had been on the receiving end of the ice luge a few too many times, I headed toward the kitchen to grab a beer. As I crossed back into the living room, I could see Ben sucking on a lime and squinting his eyes with his nose scrunched as he vigorously moved his head from side to side. He was making a vain attempt to relieve the potent impact of the countless shots he had just let flow freely down his throat. While shaking my head in amusement at him, I passed by a couple playing beer pong and giggled. If the state of the girl’s condition was any indication of her skill level, the guy was obviously a much better player.

  Noticing me, Ben shot me a wicked smirk and crooked his index finger, gesturing me toward him. He strode a few steps closer; his gaze holding mine as the crowd cleared the way.

  Standing face to face, I could see that his forget-me-not blue eyes were slightly hooded, allowing me only a glimpse of his dilated pupils. His sly grin was still present, which alerted me to his somewhat coherent state of mind.

  Raising an eyebrow, I pointed to the dark-blue ice sculpture. “Hey, how many times did you hit that?”

  Feigning confusion, he raised his hands palms up. “Not sure,” he said as he cocked his head to one side while shrugging his shoulders.

  Ben took the cup out of my hand and set it on the table beside us. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. “Hey, Dahl. What took so long?” he asked as he rested his strong hands on my ass.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rested my forehead on his chin and let out a slow sigh. “Photo shoot took longer than expected. Drake had a meltdown when the models’ outfits weren’t the shade of purple he’d asked for.”

  Ben groaned and dipped his head to kiss me. “Drake’s a fuckin’ pansy-ass. He better hope you find a new internship for next semester because he’s really starting to piss me off.”

  Flinching a little at his words, I leaned back to place my hands on his hard chest before looking into his slightly glazed eyes. “Ben, promise me you’ll stay away from him.”

  “Will do. Promise, Dahl,” he chuckled, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath.

  I sighed and ran my hands up to his hair, combing my fingers through it.

  Looking at me with concern, he whispered, “You okay?”

  “Of course. The wrong color purple isn’t really the end of the world.”

  He studied me and hesitated before responding. “Dahl, you know that’s not what I mean.”

  I stiffened. I knew what he meant, but I didn’t want to talk about the anniversary of my parents’ death.

  “Ben, I’m cool. Let’s have a good time,” I muttered. I broke our embrace, grabbed my beer, and looked around the room for Aerie.

  Ben nodded in acknowledgment, his sly grin returning while he watched me chug the entire contents of the Solo cup before chewing on the ice cubes that were left behind. Beckoning me to the center of the room, he swooshed his arm and pointed to the luge. “This way, gorgeous.”

  Having refilled our drinks, we stood at the liquor-filled ice dispenser. The party was in full swing, and I watched Ben hit the luge yet again. I excused myself to use the restroom; I glanced around at the mass of people and pushed through the chaos. There were wall-to-wall people in every room. I stumbled into a tall guy with red hair, and I knew he was beyond drunk when he tried to kiss me. I shoved him and giggled when he tripped over his own feet and fell on his ass. I continued making my way to the stairs. They were covered with a throng of people that were drinking, making out, or doing way more than I ever needed to see.

  The room smelled like alcohol mixed with sweat, and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t get out of there soon enough. I had to carefully weave around the crowd on the stairs and was thankful when I finally made it to the bathroom.

  After I left the bathroom, I went to Ben’s room for a much needed mental break. This particular day was the hardest one of the year for me, but participating in the party festivities always seemed to help me through it. As I headed toward his bed, I noticed the tickets he gave me this morning. I knew he meant well buying us tickets to see one of my favorite bands, Maroon 5, perform at The Greek. I felt horrible about my knee-jerk reaction. When he gave the
m to me it was because he thought he would brighten an otherwise dark day for me, but I couldn’t go back there. I experienced such joy there with my dad, and I couldn’t bear it. It would only remind me how much I miss him.

  Sighing, I threw myself on the bed. Yes, he meant well and he really wanted to be the one to take me there, but he knew I would never go back. I’ve told him this. When he bought those tickets, he probably thought he could bring back the happiness I once shared there with my father. Sadly, I haven’t been back to The Greek since I was fourteen years old and went to the U2 concert. It was the last concert I went to with my family before my mother, my aunt, and my father died in a small plane crash coming home from Mexico. So, going back to The Greek can never bring me happiness, only sadness at the loss of my family and my longing to have them back. I’m not sure how long I stayed in his room thinking about my parents until I finally decided to rejoin the party.