Torn Page 3

  He kisses my hair and continues, “It seems like all I was really doing was waiting for you my whole life anyway, and I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  I shift so I’m lying on my side and can look up at him. “I’m not really sure. But, when you put it that way, I don’t want to wait either.”

  “How would you feel if we charter a plane to Las Vegas and get married today? I can have it arranged in a matter of hours. We can fly up there, get married, and be back here by sunset.”

  “You don’t mind if your family’s not there?”

  He hesitates only a moment before pulling me closer. His arms tighten around me as the green depths of his eyes stare into mine. “I won’t be satisfied until I wake up next to my wife every morning. Dahlia, all I want is you and me forever. We can celebrate later once you’re feeling better. We can even have another ceremony here, but what happened in the hospital I never want to happen again. So will you marry me today?”

  He’s romantic, fearless, and full of life and I love every inch of him. I loop my arms around his neck and my lips find his. Smiling at him as the sun rises and with the Hollywood sign as our backdrop, I say, “River Wilde, I would love to marry you today.”

  He groans against my mouth and the sound echoes through my skin, making me smile even more. He kisses me. Then he kisses me again. Then some more. Once we’re both breathless he moves me enough to stand up. His smile, the real one, breaks across his face. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  I have no intention of going anywhere, so he’s safe. When he comes back he has Stella firmly in his clutch. Joy radiates from him and there’s a familiar gleam in his eyes as he sits down at the end of the lounge chair with the guitar. The slight breeze in the air blows his hair. I move toward him and rest my chin on his shoulder, my front to his back. His hot skin awakens all my senses.

  I peer down and watch as his hand dances over the strings and he starts singing “You and Me.” As he plays I can feel every motion of his body as if I’m the one playing. Curling my hand around his hip I feel him shudder as heat travels through my arm. My eyes shift to his face and it’s a picture of what is real, what is right in my life, and what we have . . . true love everlasting.

  He sings the final verse, “The clock never seemed so alive,” into my ear and I shiver as his warm breath grazes the skin of my neck. I could watch him play and listen to him sing a thousand times over and never grow tired of it. Not ever. He cocks his head to mine and picks the last notes on his strings as the sound of his music fills the air and I can’t help but think how lucky I am to get to spend the rest of my life with him.

  ***

  A few hours later I’m sitting at the breakfast bar having just finished up a security system lesson with Caleb, when the doorbell rings. I know who it is before River has answered it. Aerie screams, “There you are! How are you?”

  It’s only been sixty minutes since I called to tell her we were home and she’s already here. She runs over and I stand up slowly. My body aches much more today than it has since the incident, probably from sitting in the car on the ride home. “I’m okay—really! I look much worse than I actually feel.”

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t come to see you in the hospital. Work has been crazy,” she says before throwing her arms around me in a tight embrace. I wince a little and she pulls away. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Her face is full of concern—this woman who has helped me in more ways than I could ever count. Of course she’s here now. And she’s a vision of perfection in her red shift dress and black high heels, with a matching headband.

  “I’m fine,” I lie so she doesn’t feel bad. I’ve talked to her on the phone so many times since I was hospitalized I think she knows more about the incident than River does.

  “What’s going on at work?”

  Rolling her eyes she says, “The owner’s son decided he wants to be more involv . . . ,” but before she can finish she’s giving me a speculative glance. “Why are you dressed like that?”

  “Dressed like what?” I coyly ask, trying to keep my smile from exploding.

  “You’re wearing a dress! In fact, you’re dressed like you’re going somewhere when you should be in sweats and lying in bed. You even have heels on. You never wear heels unless I make you.”

  I glance over my shoulder to see River standing in the kitchen with Caleb. He nods his head. I’m so excited I just blurt it out, “We’re leaving this afternoon for Las Vegas to get married!”

  She claps and jumps up and down with excitement then suddenly stops. “Wait a minute! You are not eloping, Dahlia London. You can’t. I want to see you get married.” She hugs me tightly again before pulling away. “Sorry, sorry,” she says, wiping the tears from her cheeks and trying to gain her composure.

  I start to feel a little guilty, but rapidly try to push those feelings aside. “We’ll have a party after the band’s tour and all of us can celebrate then, okay?”

  River comes around the counter and hugs Aerie before whispering something in her ear. Pulling me into his side he says, “We’ll celebrate later, but we want to get married now.”

  “Is it safe for you to travel?” Aerie says with concern.

  Nodding my head I try to convince her not to worry. “Really, Aerie, I feel fine. I promise.”

  River kisses my hair softly. “Coffee?” he asks Aerie.

  “No, you know I don’t drink that stuff. It’s pure octane and tastes like it, too.”

  Laughing, he walks back into the kitchen, mumbling, “I don’t know how anyone survives without caffeine.”

  River’s phone rings and I hear him say, “Xander, I told you I’m not meeting her today or tomorrow. I don’t give a shit what she wants.” I give River a concerned glance and he nods at me, flashing me what I know to be his make-believe smile. Once he ends the call, he turns to me. “Dahlia, I have a few things to take care of. Will you be okay?”

  Aerie shoos him away. “She’ll be fine,” she says and pulls me over to the sofa.

  River comes over and kisses me again. “You sure?”

  “I’m fine. Go already,” I tell him, kissing him back.

  “Okay. Caleb is in the music room if you need anything. He set up his computer in there for now. I won’t be long.”

  Aerie and I talk for a while. Once she feels she has wrung every ounce of information from me, she stands and says, “I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t leave until I get back. I mean it!”

  “Where are you going?” I glance at the clock.

  “It’s a surprise. Wait for me. Please?”

  “Okay, you have an hour, that’s it.”

  She waves at me as she rushes out the door.

  With minutes to spare she returns holding a gray suit bag in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. She leads me to my bedroom.

  “Every princess has to have a wedding dress to get married in,” she says as she unzips the bag and pulls out the most beautiful white silk dress. Simple, yet elegant. It’s a sleeveless cocktail-length dress with a deep V-neck and A-line skirt adorned with tiny pearls. There’s also gorgeous, yet subtly patterned silk embroidery on the bodice, making it special enough for the occasion but not overwhelmingly fancy. It’s perfect.

  She sits me on the bed and pulls out a simple pair of silver high heels and slips them on my feet. “Just like Cinderella, Dahlia, you got your Prince Charming,” she says as a tear slides down her cheek. She pulls one more item out of the bag for me. I look at the beautiful white band of fabric with small blue jewels all around it as I take it out of the box. “The dress is your something new, here is your something blue.” It’s a garter and as she takes it from my hand, she slips it on my leg and up to my thigh; I laugh at her need to make sure I follow the typical bridal wedding traditions.

  Once she has powdered and primped me, covering my bruises as best she can with makeup, she stands up and removes the pearl earrings from her ear. “And these are your something borrowed.” They are
her great-grandmother’s pearl earrings, the ones I’ve always loved. I remove my earrings and insert hers, then stand to look in the mirror. Now I really look like a bride. I throw my arms around her despite the pain shooting through me. “I love you, Aerie Daniels, forever and always. Thank you so much!”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I can’t have my best friend getting married in just anything. And to be honest I was afraid you might end up in your Converse sneakers.” I puff out a laugh and grab my camera. I hold it out in front of us and snap a picture. She’s been my best friend for so long, I want to remember this time with her forever.

  Aerie and I say our goodbyes—she has to get back to work—and I find myself alone, thinking about how drastically my life has changed over the past year. When I catch sight of my Grammy’s pearls hanging on the mirror, I walk over to the dresser and pull down my something old. As I slip them around my neck, I have an odd déjà vu feeling. Today I’m going to marry the man who turned my life around; the man who taught me to love again. I thought Ben was my once-in-a-lifetime, but who knew a once-in-a-lifetime love could happen twice?

  I feel so incredibly happy but a sudden sadness washes through me for those I’ve lost and I shift my eyes to the ceiling to say a silent prayer for each of them. I tell my mother and father I wish they could be here with me today. I thank my uncle for looking after me and keeping me on the right path. I think of my aunt and her mother and how they taught me that life is full of magic. Then I whisper to Ben, the man I intended to marry who was taken too soon, that I will always love him and he will forever hold a special place in my heart, as my first true love. I finish looking in the mirror and take a deep breath. I’m ready.

  The battery in my cell phone is almost dead and I hope I have time to charge it. I walk into the empty living room and head over to the kitchen to get my charger. Once I’ve plugged it in, I turn around and see his gorgeous silhouette framing the doorway. He walks toward me, looking irresistible.

  All I can do is stare at him because today I get to marry this man.

  River’s mouth slowly curves into a smile. “You look amazing.”

  I return his smile and walk toward him. We meet in the middle and he gathers me close, whispering in my ear, “Come on, beautiful, you don’t need that today.”

  We break apart, both of us ready to take the next step. His phone rings and he pulls it from his pocket. I glance at the screen and see it’s his brother. He ignores it. I’m looking up at him while I ask, “Hey, what’s going on with Xander? What was that with him on the phone earlier?”

  He looks back at me and shakes his head. “You know Xander, he always wants what he wants now.”

  “And he wants what right now?”

  “He wants me to meet with Ellie.”

  “Who’s Ellie?”

  “She’s his contact for the label. Nothing to worry about now, though.”

  He places soft kisses on my forehead. He pulls back and gazes into my eyes with a look of adoration that I love. “Are you ready to become my wife?”

  My legs start to quiver as I pull back to look at his handsome face. “Only if you promise to love me forever.”

  He cups my cheeks and says, “Beautiful, I made that promise to myself the first time I kissed you. I promised to love you always. How could I not?”

  My tears spill over at his heartfelt words. I love him so much. He’s hugging me, not too tightly, but enough that I feel his love and I know he will always be mine. He kisses me again and says, “The instant you become Mrs. River Wilde I’m going to show you just how much.”

  He grabs my hand and we head toward the door. “Amazing Grace” starts playing from my phone in the kitchen just as we’re about to leave and I turn back. “River, let me quickly grab that. I don’t want Grace to worry about me any more than she already has.”

  I drop his hand and walk to the kitchen counter to answer my phone. “Hello?”

  Chapter 2

  Home

  Ben’s Journal

  I’m finally home and out of that conference room. I never expected to be back so I can’t say it’s been a long road but I can say I’m sure as shit glad to be here. I can’t believe I’m in Laguna, the place that I love, with all the people I love.

  The suits reassured me, before leaving the office on Wilshire Boulevard, that my reappearance wouldn’t be made public until the trial. So I won’t have to deal with all the questions right now, except from my family and my girl. Seeing my mother was way more emotional than I expected. When one of the suits came in and told me she was talking to Special Agent Bass in the waiting room I tried not to lose my shit as I tore out of the room. I wanted to be there when they told her. I knew it would be a shock that I was really alive. That I wasn’t actually gunned down that night almost three years ago on my way to an awards ceremony while my girl watched it all go down from the car.

  I ran through the hall and past the round gold seal of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the framed picture of the President, and the various most-wanted posters. The special agent talking to my mother was a woman and they were sitting in the corner of the room. Mom was crying so I knew she had been told and her tears made me instantly regret ever agreeing to leave. Her face was an emotional wreck and my remorse for the choice I made to leave, to not stay and turn this over to the FBI, weighed heavier than it ever had on my mind. But Caleb had taken things into his own hands and contacted them shortly after I left. So even though I hadn’t known it, they had been involved for some time.

  When she looked up her mouth fell open, and I could see she was shaky, and unsure. She stood up and I walked over to her to assure her I was real. When I was standing in front of her, she blinked and then sighed before throwing her arms around me. I was overwhelmed. I hugged her for the longest time. She was always my biggest supporter. To her I could do no wrong—I was her golden boy, the son that looked just like his father, the man she had also loved unconditionally. When I pulled back I kept my voice soft and answered as many of her questions as I could.

  Our brief but emotional reunion was interrupted when the suit ushered us forward. We were escorted back down the drab hallway and into the same conference room I had sat in for hours, but this time they left us alone. Looking at me, my mother broke down and I broke down along with her. I had missed her. She, like Dahl, was always there for me, always believed in me, and always loved me, no matter what. When she was finally able to compose herself enough to hear where I’d been for the past three years, I explained everything to her, including the events that brought me back home.

  I tried not to give her too many details. Just enough so she could understand, but not too many that she’d grow more concerned.

  Once we got home, she called Serena and Trent and they came right over. Serena was actually pissed at me at first—she yelled and screamed and then finally cried. Trent, on the other hand, wasn’t just happy; it was more like he was relieved. He looked jittery and I thought he might be on something. My mom looked really upset when I asked about it and I felt like she knew more than she was telling me. But all she said was that Serena was going through some stuff with him and had been having a hard time getting him to listen to her. We spent the rest of the day just talking and she told me how much she missed me.

  I thought seeing Dahl would be the most important thing but after talking to Mom I knew right then that she needed me more. It wasn’t until later in the day that I got a chance to call Dahl, but Mom insisted we wait until tomorrow and that she be the one to do it. I really didn’t want to push, so I didn’t argue. She already seemed so stressed.

  But I did ask her if Dahl was seeing anyone. She was hesitant to tell me anything at first, but she said there was a guy and Dahl had been seeing him for a while. I guess I can assume he’s the same guy Caleb told me about. It’s not that I didn’t want her to move on—I never thought I’d be back. But I just never thought I’d have to see it.

  I also asked if Dahl had dated many guys and
she told me no, just the one. I had hoped there were more because that would make her more like me. She would have been doing what I had been doing—trying to find a substitute for her. When I first got to New York I was lost. I had no one. For months I didn’t go out or talk to anyone. Then after a while I tried to date someone, but everything we did just brought me back to the life I left, the life I missed, and it wasn’t fair to that girl.

  I started teaching that fall, but it didn’t help me forget Dahl. That Halloween I knew she needed me and I wasn’t there. I went out and got shitfaced and fucked a girl that looked like her. That started me down a road I can’t even remember. Work, eat, drink, fuck. I never thought I’d see her again so I fucked just about every tall blond I ran into. And New York was loaded with them. But I never stuck around . . . they weren’t her and I didn’t want to get that close.

  Over time I stopped trying to replace her because no matter how much I wanted it, there was no substitute for her. As time went on it didn’t matter if the girl I fucked was tall, short, blond, or brunette—they were just there to fill a need. My need to have Dahl in my life never went away, but I met Kimberly shortly after Caleb told me he had seen Dahl with some guy in the Hills. For some reason, although I hated that she had moved on, it brought me closure and I stopped fucking around. Kimberly and I started dating and after a few months, I found a happy medium. I was able to have a relationship and function almost like I used to. I didn’t screw around on her. I liked her enough. So yeah, maybe she looked a lot like Dahlia, but she didn’t act like her. She never called me on my shit and never put me in my place. We had a good sex life and a decent time together. She wasn’t needy and didn’t pressure me for more than I was willing to give. We had a good thing going.

  Hopefully Dahl’s commitment to this guy is like my commitment to Kimberly—committed until something else came around. I was committed to Kimberly until I was told I could go back. I did call her and tell her I had an emergency back home and I’d be in touch soon. She didn’t know anything about where home was . . . I was always vague. She knew I was from California and she knew me as Alex. I didn’t want to explain anything different. So I haven’t talked to her since I left. I am going to call her—I owe her that. I just haven’t figured out what I am going to say.